SCANDAL! The Bare Episode Guide
Did your shift in the kitchen keep you from catching every episode of SCANDAL! The Bare? Our SCANDAL! reporter connect Erich Meese plates the freshest, hottest twists and turns for you every week so that you can stay up-to-date on the newest, most SCANDAL!ous serial drama served to you from Dad’s Garage. Click an episode title to see the full recap and stay up-to-date.
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In the parking lot outside restaurant franchise W.T. Friday’s, the new owner and head chef Shermie thanked his uncle, “Unc”, for all his financial support. Unc assured him that, as his godfather, he’s always ready to support him…and to prove it, he’s just done Shermie a favor. Unc explained that Fat Joey Giuseppe’s regular caterers got hit by a Marta train, so Unc got Shermie the gig of cooking for Fat Joey’s daughter’s wedding—that evening. Shermie protested that he couldn’t do such a big job on such short notice (especially for gangsters), until Unc informed him they’d be getting $40,000.
Cousin, the restaurant’s expo, was working in the kitchen when the new sous-chef, Adelaide, arrived. Cousin tested the newcomer by challenging her to bread the calamari rings in 30 seconds; Adelaide easily bested that challenge. Cousin (who kept getting Adelaide’s name wrong, calling her “Lemonade”) welcomed Adelaide, but warned her that she wouldn’t want to stay at this restaurant. Before she could explain why, the manager Stevia came in to get Adelaide on-boarded. As Stevia led Adelaide into the office, Adelaide congratulated Stevia on her pregnancy. Stevia thanked her, noting that nobody else in the restaurant had ever acknowledged it. Just then, line chef Tammy and pastry chef Junior burst into the office, complaining about the last-minute wedding gig. Junior in particular refused to do the job, as it wasn’t on the schedule. When Stevia pointed out that sometimes emergencies come up, Junior explained that he grew up doing time in juvie, and had grown to rely on regimented schedules.
The wing chef ABC was talking to maintenance worker Lenny about the wedding gig, noting that he had nothing to do because they weren’t ordering wings, so he had some free time to spend with Lenny. Lenny explained that he had a lot of tasks to deal with, including maintaining the temperature in the walk-in freezer. The mention of temperature got ABC thinking about the thermodynamics of cooking; he theorized that if he cooked at twice the temperature, it would be ready in half the time…and if they cooked hot enough, the food would be ready before they even started. Lenny mentioned that if he wanted to get REALLY hot, he knew a guy with a Russian jet engine.
Shermie was buying a palette full of food at the grocery store when he ran into his old girlfriend Molly. They caught up on old times; he explained that he had to quit culinary school to take over his father’s restaurant. She talked about bad dating experiences; her last date stood her up. He asked if she’d be interested in dinner or coffee some time, and she said she was free tonight. Since he had a wedding to cater, he asked if there was any other time that worked for her. She explained that tonight was her only free night, since she was starting her residency at the Pitt and would be too busy for the foreseeable future. Shermie assured her that he could make tonight work.
Shermie arrived in the kitchen to bring Adelaide up to speed, as the rest of the staff rushed in and out to prepare the meal. Just then, Unc came in with some more “good news”: they can expect an extra 100 guests. Cousin announced that she was bowing out of this gig, declaring that she was “just not feeling it.” Instead, she went back to watching skateboarding-cat videos on her phone. Shermie asked Tammy to cover Cousin’s station, much to Tammy’s frustration. Unc came in with another announcement: the groom is allergic to crustaceans. Panicking, Shermie ordered the calamari cancelled, until Junior pointed out that squids aren’t crustaceans. Just then, Unc came in and corrected himself: the groom’s allergic to molluscs. Shermie ordered for the calamari rings to be changed to cheese rings. Just then, Unc came in and corrected himself again: the groom’s actually allergic to charcuterie. (SHERMIE: “What does that even mean? That’s many different things!”) The scene went into slow-motion as the staff rushed to prepare the ever-changing order.
Meanwhile, Lenny had hooked up a 30-year-old Soviet shuttle engine to the natural gas line, talking to ABC as the hammering drowned out their conversation. Stevia came out to investigate the noise, and was overwhelmed by the smell of rocket fuel. Upset by the shenanigans, Stevia pointed out that she needs to keep her blood pressure down. ABC recommended that she watch skateboard cat videos to calm down. ABC and Lenny explained that with this engine, they could cook the food super-fast. ABC suggested that they could probably also bring the temperature down in the freezer by bringing it up in the kitchen. (LENNY: “About these laws of thermodynamics, how serious are you about following them?”) With that, they ignited the engine.
Molly was at the Olive Garden, eating breadsticks as she waited for Shermie to arrive for their date.
Meanwhile, the restaurant was in chaos as the staff rushed to fill the orders, and the temperature rose dramatically thanks to the rocket launching outside. The engine had propelled itself onto ABC’s head, and Lenny tried desperately to hack it off as Stevia looked on in shock. Inside, the heat and stress overwhelmed Junior, causing him to throw up onto the food as they were preparing it…which, in turn, made everyone else puke as well.
ABC and Lenny were airlifted to the Pitt to be treated for their injuries; Lenny explained that Soviet rockets had no safety standards. Molly arrived and examined them. ABC said that when his head was in the engine, he saw the cosmos…or God, it’s hard to say which. As Molly bandaged ABC’s burns (prompting Lenny to ask “Ooh, is he gonna be a cool mummy?”), he asked her how her date went. She replied that Shermie didn’t show. Changing the subject, he asked what it was like working in the Pitt. (“It’s a lot like the ER, but legally distinct.”) As she examined Lenny for fuel inhalation (prompting him to ask, “Ooh, am I gonna be a mummy?”), ABC told Lenny that he was disappointed in him (“I think you took a risk with my life”). Lenny admitted that he’d been reckless…and that he’d also endangered the pregnant Stevia by igniting an unsafe Soviet rocket around her. (“Best case scenario, her baby has super powers now.”) They observed that she really should have been airlifted to the hospital along with them. ABC informed Lenny that perhaps they’d be better off as co-workers than as friends. Upset, Lenny declared “I think I DID get burned,” and ran out. Molly reassured ABC that friends sometimes fight; in return, ABC told her that boyfriends and girlfriends did too.
Unc was on the phone with Fat Joey Giuseppe, trying to assure him that everything was good. He promised him that the dinner would be served as scheduled, and it may come with a “special sauce.” To make up for any inconvenience, her promised to provide special entertainment: the skateboarding cat. The call ended with Unc answering a question from Fat Joey: “Why yes, I DO value my life.”
Shermie and Cousin tried to figure out a game plan to salvage “another horseshit day at cup fuck,” as Cousin put it. Shermie asked Cousin why she does what she does, and she replied “What else am I gonna do?” She compared their situation to that guy rolling the boulder uphill, “Cicero.” Shermie replied that he’s in it because he believes in “the chain restaurant experience.” Cousin quipped that he messed up that experience. Just then, Shermie noticed that all the calamari had been incinerated by the engine. He saw a way to salvage the situation by serving calamari dust as a designer drug.
Stevia was recovering in the office when Junior came in to check on her. He apologized for vomiting on the food, saying that he’s never been good at anything, and now he’s ruined everything. She assured him that it was all right. He asked how she and the baby were doing, and she replied that they were fine; she’s spent so much time in tanning beds that it protected the baby. However, she was upset that when the rocket went off, she said something horrible, telling the baby that it spoiled everything. Junior told her that she’s done everything she can in a hard situation. She apologized for shooting down his idea of serving yeast rolls at the wedding; he replied “Fuck the yeast rolls,” then apologized for swearing in front of the baby. Stevia assured him “It’s all right, he can’t hear it unless you yell into my vaginal canal.” Junior noted that he hadn’t really had anyone in his life since his parents sent him to juvie. (STEVIA: “Wait, they SENT you to juvie? You didn’t do anything to earn it?”) They decided that they could be there for each other, and Junior started by touching up her make-up for her.
Adelaide and Tammy were catching their breath in the kitchen after serving the “calamari cocaine.” Tammy reflected that she could have fixed up something with what they had in the kitchen, like lasagna. Adelaide told Tammy that she should have spoken up, but Tammy replied “Sometimes when you speak out, you get thrown out.” Adelaide remembered how she had gotten thrown out of her last job managing a Chuck E. Cheese. Tammy remarked that Adelaide reminded her partly of her son Kendrick Lamar (“not that one, no relation”) and partly of herself.
Shermie was smoking in the alley when Unc came in with good news and bad news: Good news, the gangsters loved the calamari cocaine; bad news, he had to spend the $40,000 to book the skateboard cat. Unc realized he had made a mistake and put Shermie in a bad position. Shermie accepted Unc’s apology, nothing how hard it is to admit a mistake. They reminisced about Shermie’s father, who’d been gone for 28 days (“Nearly a month…unless that month is February, then it IS a month.”) Shermie said he didn’t think he was cut out for this job. Unc angrily pointed out that he’d invested a lot of money in putting Shermie in charge. Just then, Molly brought ABC and Lenny back from the hospital. Sensing the awkwardness, Unc, Lenny, and ABC left to give Shermie and Molly some privacy, with ABC leaving very slowly (“My entire body is burned!”) Molly complained that he never showed up at the Olive Garden, and she ate 60 breadsticks waiting for him. As Shermie apologized, Molly’s pager went off. She told Shermie that she’s essential to the hospital, but she wasn’t sure if she was essential to him.
After the wedding, the staff gathered for a “family dinner,” with Tammy serving lasagna. Shermie realized “We should have made THAT!” Junior replied that they’re “not about the woulda, coulda, shoulda…it’s about what happened, good or bad.” Shermie reminded them all of the restaurant’s slogan: “When you’re here, it’s Friday.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
